Should You Share Your Password With Your Partner?

Relationships are about trust and sharing: sharing your feelings, sharing your responsibilities, and sharing your love. Increasingly, it is also about sharing your passwords. These could be for e-mail, social media, banking, etc. Giving your loved one access to all aspects of your life seems like the ultimate gesture, but it is also one that can backfire badly and lead to terrible consequences.

Relationships usually seem rock solid at the outset; you can often imagine spending the rest of your life with this person. However, not all of them do last and some become quite acrimonious. At that point, all bets are off: lawyers are called in, reputations are questioned, and things become quite ugly.

The internet has added a whole new wrinkle to this issue. Those who have had longtime access to their partner’s online activities often run across things that sour the relationship. It could be the partner having regular contact with a former lover or using the internet to hook up with other people, sans permission. Misuse of money can be another issue that drives couples apart, particularly when one is putting finances towards something that both parties have not agreed upon.

It also never hurts to have a measure of privacy, even in relationships where trust seems absolute. Even those with very stable partnerships might make an offhand comment in an e-mail to someone else that their loved one was never meant to see. This can cause wounded feelings and, potentially, a domino effect of constant snooping and suspicion.

The ideal compromise would seem to be finding a proper middle ground. For example, sharing the banking password, but allowing each party to have sole access to their own social media and e-mail accounts. No relationship is perfect and the majority do not last forever. It’s important to keep both of those factors in mind.